hectic...really hectic day for me...

hmmm...wat can i say...yesterday was really hectic for me..damn lotsa rejections on Nivea products coming in...sighs...yet still no reply from the customers...that made me really mad...

i dunno y these few days i've been feelin kinda low...n i get angry easily...i dunno how to handle these kinda stuffs anymore...

yesterday evening the TOG ppl came to our home for bible readin...today we're goin to receive a blessing from the Holy Spirit...n mummy was eager to get it..coz she wans to hold onto the tongue language...yes tongue language in christian community is pretty strong...but to me.. i dun really wan all these to happen..though they prayed for me as in for my hyperthyroidism problem that im facing right now... n i thank them for that..bt the thing is...i belive wat made me today is my faith in Jesus...hmmm...i can really see that mummy is into all these stuff..i really hope that she will make the right choice in being who she is n wat religion is she in...

to me all religion teaches good stuff..asking us to b good..so no matter what religion is more powerful n all..it comes to a result that is teaching us to b good..a good person...

n my home..is totally terrible...he keeps complainin to mum about the small mistakes we do n make it as a big story in the hood...i dun really like him...alicia jie knows wat im goin through..though she's not into it..i know that she n ge will b thr for me when i need them...
im very happy to hv her as my sister..

da jie..hmmm...she's been borrowing $$ from me..yes..i can borrow her..bt the thing is im like mum..n she's like dad...its like a circle...when jie asks me for $$ i will giv her..juz like wat happen to mum n him...i find hard to save up a sum of money every month...i've been payin bills more than she is..maxis,water,astro n giving mum allowance... sometimes hv to borrow her some n give mei her allowance too...

nowadays..he's has been acting weird...he has been talkin to me n all..i tried not to talk nor reply him..coz i felt its weird...suddenly he wans to get a good relationship wit me?? impossible...surely there's something behind it...

im so tired...what can i do to stop all these?? i dunno wat is mum up to..i dunno wat is on her mind..there's once she said she wan2 seperate wit him..n i end up looking for lawyer's phone numbers for her..n i asked her to call them herself..bt im not sure whether did she call them o not..or she's still hv feelings for him...?? im really confused n im really very tired...i wan2 get out of this house...n not bother about anything..bt i cant..when i think of mum...

wat can i do more??

the hard part

so it came to e last day of my trip...i went out with my best friend roseanne to city square..shopping..i bought so many clothes even gifts for gege n er ge n god ma...coz its nice to buy someone something b4 u leave...

its owaz the hardest part that i have to face..after i came back from shopping...i put all the gifts onto their beds...coz they're not in...except for gege...he's at home keeping me company..plus to send me to e airport...i cried silently in e room...n pretend tat im sleeping when gege comes in...to check on me...at tat time..i was thinking..i really hate leaving jb..coz its been a great time having to b there..where i spend half of my life thr...n i was thinking about family problems..where i dn feel happy to b back here..work is stressful n pressuring ald.. home is much more complicated..i really hope that i could get out from this misery...i feel like tellin gege about his at that time..i juz dunno y i said no to him when he asks me to...i juz cried..n he gave me a great big hug...he even try to make me laugh..n at that time he was hving fever...n im hving fever now...haha...

neway...i realli had lotsa fun..looking at my god-brother n god sis playing around when we went n play pool...i lost at every game...sighs...got to try lotsa new japanese food which penang doesnt hv it yet..neway..everyday that i spend was memorable but the pitiful thing is i dint take pics...the onyl pic i took is wit my god-sis where when i've arrived in jb's airport..thats the only one...hmm...
i wil take more pics,,when i get down to jb by the end of e year...looking forward to it...

E Jade Bangle

hmmm...remember the bangle that i said my best friend gave me...well yea...

although he bought it from china for me...he gave me when we're on e beach..hving my pressure let out..while enjoying the breeze...i dunno whether its a gift for being his gf or being his friend...sometimes i will think that whether shud i wear it o not... i dunno what kinda gift is he trying to give to me...its so confusing.. by looking at it..it confused me...

any clue?? no..coz he nvr once call me up for no reason juz to chit chat n all...he nvr once sms me unless i sms him...so wat does that means???

6th June 2009 @ 1028hrs

Finally i've reached jay bee yesterday evening... when im in e plane... when i saw jb city...it feels so good to b home...

the 1st person that i saw n in my heart i feel so happy to see him..my nvr ever changing brother...still skinny..still funny...then he came with alicia jie jie my GOD SISTER!!! n he dint let me know... he n alicia plan that she hide up..n she will follow up at the back to take my luggage... then gege will pretend that he lost my luggage somewhr... then i saw her....she's so punie...so little... so cute...

its our first time meeting up.. then we went for a barbeque dinner..gege got ulcer...so the both of us got the chance to eat up...haha :D

so today..actually i have to follow gege to a function...but i decide not to..coz im not familiar with all those people..plus i dun dare to show people how i've grown...as i've grown bigger in size..n my thyroid hasnt gone down yet...feel so terrible...neway..im an expert @ staying at home...

the doc said that my thyroid has gone down n she wans me to stop on the carbimazole...bt i still doubt it ... thats y im still taking the medication...how i wish i could go back to my normal size when that once im only 50++kg..now im trying to find ways to slim down...i've tried all sorts of stuff...bt still its not working... when m i goin down n smaller in size??? sighssss

4th June 2009 @ 1430hrs

this is the particular day that i can remember very clearly...

that one day...i've 4gotten to switch off the air-con when im in mum's room and for goodness sake i went to work...then he called up mum..telling her that i didnt switch off the air-con when i went out...
later on..on MSN mum came n confronted me saying that i forgot to switch the air-cond off...i apologize to her saying that i didnt mean to... then she said to me one sentence " what is the point of saying sorry when u've done something wrong??" i was so dissapointed wen she said that word.. For Goodness sake... sometimes people tend to forget some stuffs... i didnt do it on purpose as to let him to hv the chance to complain it to mum n to irritate mum...i dint do anything wrong..i've juz forgot...when my aunt ask me..wats goin on..when she saw my face gone sad..i cried when i told her the whole story...coz the sentence that mum is saying that i did someting wrong..n now when i thnk of that day she told me off...i really feel like crying...

i know that mum is goin through menopause... n i know its hard...bt come to think of it...did i do something wrong?? i dint intend to forget..i dint intend to let him hv the chance to complaint everything to mum n irritate her...I DINT MEAN TO!!!!!

Wonderland..

hmm...dunno wat to do...aunt n uncle (whom is my boss) went for a vacation for a week...been bz trying to cope up with things..im lucky to have lots of helpful colleagues...although i will get frustrated at times..i thank God for letting them to tolerate MY ATTITUDE....

nowadays hv been sick but im getting better...wow..family stuff hv been goin much more hectic..i dunno how or wat to do next..i wonder wat is happening next...hmmm...

Wat to choose?? Wat To Do???

hmm..these days..we hv been travellin to TOG (Tabernacle of Gospel) church..which is a christian church..to my mum n younger sis..they feel like the warm of Jesus there..as for me..its normal...the pastor there is taking us step by step into their community..n my mum feels confortable wif it...as for me..if u wan me to choose..i will choose to stay as a catholic..coz its from there that i came to belif that Jesus really exist...

i dunno wat can i do..bt they prayed for me n tot me wonderful things about Him...i do hope that i will make the right choice in being who i am right now...