9th March 2009 @ 10.30am

Finally... I've got my one-day Break... from all work,stress,pressure n tension...
on Saturday went out with my best bud again... it suprises me when he asked me out...

in the car..we chatted but after a moment.. i jus kept quiet..all the way.. so he came n kacau me asking me to talk..
i dunno wats goin on my mind,, n i dun really know wat was i thinking about... so he said.."r u thinking about something??" So i told him wat's goin on my mind..

i've thought about money problems, mum... cause she's gonna hv a hard time paying bills..
bt that's not all... its just i dun wan 2 tell him more...
bt he suggested tat i go for applying for air stewardess..as im young..he said the pay is quite high..n i can travel around n will get to know about lotsa people...so i said i'll try..

the real thing is..im very tired of all these stuffs tat is happening...
that guy who always thinks tat he's right all the time..who's taking money from mum n sis...
whom hates me so much...i really hope tat he change...
yesterday... when we reach home after church...
he went out n came back home in a few minutes (or u can say its seconds)

surely to ask money from mum...after asking money..he came n scold us about the house about all stupid stuffs...
saying tat he suffers scoldings from bosses when he is working because of my kin whom knows his boss...
bt tat is all bull shit...he has to resign because his company asked him to..cause he thinks tat he's boss...appearing for work late..came home early..when his superior ask him to do wat he dun wan..he'll complain...
then..he said that when he assked for a little bit of money from mum to start a business mum will do her face..saying tat we look down on him n all...
bt wat/how can u start a business wit a few hundreds?? these r all bull shit!!
he went out again n then came back twice..scolding..like a bloody stupid crazy man...

i think he put a spell on us.. for we cant scold him back..when u feel like scolding him for he's being ridiculous..like wat really happen to me whe he gave me that last warning...its not tat i dun wan to not bother him..its juz tat im stopped by somthing so tat i cant speak out...mum told me tat all of us are in a spell..if we wan to get the spell broken.. it needs a month..

then at night..he kept saying tat the 4 of us planned already..cause we're getting an old car from grandpa..which
grandpa use to drive..he said tat we've planned tat when we got the car.. we ask him to drive tat old car n ask da jie to drive tat waja... he owaz said tat we've planned to get back at him.. its true tat we've plan to get the old car n let him drive it cause he's only goin local... bt for da jie she's owaz travelling to penang island..so which one deserve the waja?? surely the one who's driving far...cause its easier...

as for wat franklin suggested..i told him that i will consider.. he asked "y wait?, look u're holding urself back..its not ur family...u, urself..." then when we reach my home....we hugged n i thank him for the fun n movie.the last words tat he told me is.. "dun think too much..ur poor brain is exhausted"... i said i'll try...with a smile...

07th March 2009 @ 1.30pm

today... its a saturday so there's nothing goin on pretty much for me...
bt last week..its nice.. went out wit my best buddy franklin...
went for a movie..b4 tat he treat me to a wonderous dinner at T.G.I Fridays...he said its wat he can do for my b'day which has already past long time ago...at first he ask me to choose for a present bt i dun wan..i say lets eat somethin..n make it as a b'day present for me...n we did...

looking at him eating the burger he ordered is funny..coz in T.G.I Fridays their burger is HUGE!! so looking at him suffocating n hving a hard time to eat his burger...is really funny...

then we went up for a movie..Sex Drive... although it aint a good movie bt still its comedy... had laughs..all the way through the movie... I really thanked him for e day coz i really need a break from all these tension, stress n pressure...that is on me..he made me laugh it all out...n i feel great about it...

i was hoping tat i can go out again..juz for fun..so simple so easy...

02 March 2009 @ 4.00pm

today..i've done something... he asked mum for RM 10, when she was still sleeping (with me).. then he went out to fetch mei mei n da jie to school n work... i saw my mum putting RM 15 on the table..n i took it off there in front of her..
she asked me to put it back...she caled n reminded me about the money again...

so i did... i've put RM 10 n i put RM 5 somewhere on the table as well...
i made the RM 10 to look obvious..so tat he cant find the RM 5..
he came home n called mum asking whr did she put the money...

when i got out from home, he went looking for e money...
he called mum again... scolded her...asking n demanding for that RM 5..
asking where is it... mum said maybe i took it...for i needed the money coz i dun hv money on me..
he said she's working..working until there's no money left?? my mum said she gotta pay for alot of stuff u think that she got the allowance for herself??

my mum scolded me for being stubborn...saying tat i've got the same attitude as him...
but frankly, i dun... im standing up already... im gonna go against him already..its time...

17 Feb 2009 ; 10.10am

I've plan a lot of things ystday...im planning to catch him red-handed...with my friend's help...
bt come to think of it... it was STUPID...cause im leaving my sis home alone...i didnt think of her safety at home...
so i have to give up on my plans...

last sunday... when we came home from shopping for groceries...the bathroom light was blured for a few days but its still in good condition...he asked us to change it... immediately when he saw us bought the light bulb...he didnt offer himself to change the bulb instead he went out for a smoke..expecting us girls to do the job...n we did...lil sis said... he's not a man...

he tot tat he's the man of e house..bt now mummy is e man of e house...paying all the bills...i pity her..when she said she owed her company a few thousand dollars...i was thinking of giving her some more money to pay her company back...bt i dun think i can do tat...coz..my sister sometimes borrows money as much as a few hundred dollars...
like last month...borrow 550 for eon bank c.card... as the minimum payment for e card is a thousand plus... then again borrowed 300 for her valentine's day gift for her bf...sighs.... BANKRUPT LA SAYA NI...

10 Feb 2009 : 12.20pm

Yesterday... he call n asks mum whether did she took his wallet in his drawer?? mum said 'no'... then when i came home with lil sis... he asks us.. the same question he asked mum...we too said no...
he told me n mei mei not to pretend tat we dunno... we didnt reply...then he went out...

later then da jie came home... we've talk about the problem occur before she came home... i've told them to keep a watch out for he'll come home anytime... but they dint listen.. they kept on talking...little do we know...he was outside...after we've finsh chit chatting...hmm...da jie's face went pale...when she saw his car outside... now we r hoping tat he didnt hear anything...
if he does.. its ok... i'll put the blame on me.. i dun mind whether he hits me or torture me...its juz tat i wan him out of the house...

to mei mei...if mum n dad divorce..she said she might b following him..cause seeing him so pity...
if she does.. she wouldnt know how mum will feel...mum's gonna be broken hearted... cause she's mum's favourite...
to me if he's out of the house..with no income..n he still doesn wan2 work.. im gonna do like wat they did b4 for my grandfather..give him allowance every month... cause he's still my father...

Wat can i do more?? Although he's still my father.. but wat he do/did/does is totally ridiculous.. For now im juz hoping that there's increment for me...this year..or else i cant do anything about this problem..come to think of it.. he doesn like me a bit as his daughter...coz..wat i've been doin all these years to him.. makes him hates me more...
and wat he has been doin all these years to mum n sisters made me hate him more until the kettle burst,burn n melted...

i know im a cold blooded person...for doin something bad against him... but still the same reason..wat he did to my mum...i will pay him back twice of anything he did to mum...now im jus hoping that he would eventually get out of this house forever...

Its been a long time...

Its been a long time since i've wrote a blog... juz updated one.. now for current events...

hmmm... working has been tiring lately...but still relaxing...
everyday when im on my way back home... how i wish to see my sis smile at me when i come home...
how i wish to see my father is not around...how i wish that i won't see him everyday...
im hoping tat he'll b gone for good... i knoe wat has been goin on.. i can see..

im not afraid of him now... i dunno why m i afraid of him for the passed years...
he gave me a last warning... like i said in my blog... to me if he hits me.. i'll will b on my way to d hospital n report it to the police...its wat my mum taught me to do if he do so...

neway... CNY was fun...bt still there r some days tat i have to work because of some big companies...but still fun... no need to worry too much about all d delivery been goin on..aft working go home sleep... nice CNY week...

sometime im worried.. about my mum.. i dunno how she feels..just wan her to b happy...

The Last Warning...

hmmm... its really gona b one memorable day...

while i was on my way to the bathroom... after my mum left for work... he gave me a last warning...
saying " you think that i dont wat have u been doing behind my back... talk bad stuffs behind my back... telling ur mum wat i've been doing...listen n listen carefully im giving u a last warning"after he said all those.. he went out...then i've started thinking of..wat m i to b afraid of... wat im doin is right... telling my mum wat has he been doing all these days... i've have my rights...

so im jus hoping tat my mum will hold her word that she'll divorce him...im hoping that my mum wont go soft on him...