14th Sept 09 Monday @ 2016 hrs

im tired..

i realli need a break

im angry

for owaz doin somthing wrong...

i dunno wat m i doin to myself..im workin as hard as possible..bt its hard for me to save up a sum of money for my studies...im dissapointed in myself..sometimes i feel like crying..for not doin things right..

work has been stressful these days..for Hari Raya Puasa is coming up..today..some stupid lil thing tt i done..i forgotten to inform my store supervisor to make arrangements n leave some space for other goods..as though thats needs to b loaded up..i got scolded n mock by my aunt..bt e thing is i did inform e driver about wat he's gonna load up..e thing is i dunno y he dint inform my store supervisor..i told her..bt she says tt i hv to inform the s.supervisor rather than e driver...e thing is

my boss dint scold me..instead he made some different arrangements..

i dunno wat is happening to myself these days..i keep losing memory..even wat my aunt instructed me to do i owaz forget..i hv to think hard..bt its hard to let me flashback on stuff..to remember some major stuff i will owaz forget...i dunno how can i improve or wat can i do to myself...

i feel like knocking my head on e wall @ times..n these days..i do get angry easily..im cured of my hyperthyroidism..i dun think tt it effects me anymore..it has juz started..im trying to tolerate..whenever i could..im trying..i juz hope tt my colleagues would understand..n stop pressuring me over small matters..

i remember thr's this time.. i pass the chop n sign d/o to the billing colleague.. i remember taking tt d/o n telling her about this..bt the thing is she lost it..n she ask me to settle it by asking the customer to fax it over..i dint answer her..coz i dun wan to b responsible abt it..y m i owaz in this kind of situation? then during a few weeks b4..she keep asking me for it.. i said im trying..bt i cant promise.. the thing is y m i responsible for it..i did put it @ her place..wif my own eyes i saw it there..

i dunno wat to do..

i wan2 quit this job..bt i cant..coz i need the money to save up for my studies..

wat can i do? do i need to find another part time job?? i realli hope tt i could find one..