Wonderland..

hmm...dunno wat to do...aunt n uncle (whom is my boss) went for a vacation for a week...been bz trying to cope up with things..im lucky to have lots of helpful colleagues...although i will get frustrated at times..i thank God for letting them to tolerate MY ATTITUDE....

nowadays hv been sick but im getting better...wow..family stuff hv been goin much more hectic..i dunno how or wat to do next..i wonder wat is happening next...hmmm...

Wat to choose?? Wat To Do???

hmm..these days..we hv been travellin to TOG (Tabernacle of Gospel) church..which is a christian church..to my mum n younger sis..they feel like the warm of Jesus there..as for me..its normal...the pastor there is taking us step by step into their community..n my mum feels confortable wif it...as for me..if u wan me to choose..i will choose to stay as a catholic..coz its from there that i came to belif that Jesus really exist...

i dunno wat can i do..bt they prayed for me n tot me wonderful things about Him...i do hope that i will make the right choice in being who i am right now...

21st April 2009 @ 1400hrs

hmmm... On sunday night..if im not mistaken..after i had my light dinner... he came in to mum's room whr the 3 of us are at..mum, me, n mei...n criticise me..saying tat i've been keeping n hiding stuffs here n there...n then he talk about the eggs problem...then he talk about the camera problem...i can feel my thyroid is boiling like hot lava tat is goin to blow...



* EGGS PROBLEM..

one day i bought eggs for mei to cook n eat.. i didnt expect that mei went n put the eggs in e room...i was like OMG..when i saw e eggs in e room when i got home...



* Camera

mum bought a new canon IXUS camera..mei brought it to school...then came home accidently let him saw e camera...so he asked mei...whose camera it is? mei said its bean's one...



about the camera thingy...he scolded n told off mei that u're a christian..so dont lie anywhere around...then mum shoot him with " u also a christian...as u said to ur sisters that u wanna b one n being committed to it...so u also lie everywhere" then he slam the door n get out... using mum's car...



before that... when the time i came home...da jie is washing her car..then she moved almost everything tat he had putted in her car out...then he came in to the room..n said..moved everything out la...okok very good...he slam the door n gate n drove mum's car out...at that time.. i really wanted to tell him if u got guts..drive ur own car out than driving mum's car..if u dun like this house then GET THE HELL OUT!!!



later on... da jie said that e 5 of us should sit down n talk... then she said i cannot tell my opinion...then i said y did u say e 5 of us should sit n talk when i cant give my opinion...?? then dun include me if u dun wan me to utter a word... i can get out of e house..let u guys talk...im so furious...



now i really pity my mum..i was thinking...when the time came n when she can say no to him..y didn she say...

13th April 2009 @ 11.15am

yesterday was fun... we attended easter mass on sat so there's no mass on sunday...so the 3 of us together with mum went out to get some 'chinese sushi'..then go home to wait for da jie's boyfriend to come over...then we went out to grandma's house coz da jie need to apply for insurance wit felicia (cousin sis). later then we went out n we went to penang to have fun for the 1st time...so the 5 of us went to PISA couse there's a wedding n camera's exibhition..coz mum wants to buy a new camera...

after looking at so many options we decide to buy the latest canon camera..forgotten wats e model d...then we went out for lunch n shopping!!! i've bought a new pair of sandals...hehe...tot of buyin some high helled shoes but..nothing fits my size..my feet is too big...sighs..hard to find shoes that suits me...

in this week...we''ve got the pawn golds out from e pawn shop...it all cost about RM 700++..its with me..n im not giving it to anyone to keep it but myself..i cant believe that he pawn mum's wedding ring n their engagement rings... OMG... n i asked mum y dun she confront him about pawning the golds including their rings...? she dint utter a word...to me if my husband pawns something without asking my permission or pawns our wedding ring..i will tat our marriage is meaningless...mum heart is soft..she wil easily forgive him for everything...

wat can i do?? i cant do anything if she doesnt utter a word or doesnt take any actions...i know mum feels helpless..but wat can i do? i feel so useless...i cant do anything to help mum..

04th April 2009 @ 5pm

hmm...how to start...im getting fatter n fatter by the day..sighs...i dunno wat is goin on...im still eating regular meals...not too much..now have to go on a diet plan...maybe its the side effect of the medicine im taking...still my thyroid hasn gone down...im a lil worried about it...

now my weight problem...i hv to control wat im eating already...hv to go for regular exercise...to cut down on my weight..swimming perhaps..im looking for a gym tat provides the best facilities and coach too...hehehe..

Just last sunday...i remembered...mum heard that he doesn hav a HP to use..so mum took her personal phone tat he bought n gave it to him...let him use..n mum will b using her company's Hp..but he refuses...he scolded mum..n said " i dare to throw the Hp away..u guys look down on me n all" then he put the phone at the living room table...
i dont wanna bother too much anymore...b4 tat i was taking an afternoon nap..n was awaken by the sound of arguements between mum n dad...i was thinking.. when will all these end?

mum said tat the 5 of us should sit down n talk...then she said later tat night that v've got to wait for aunt millie to come up n then we'll talk...i was thinking when is aunt millie coming up? if she doesnt comes up..when will this talk start? nvr?

whenever im depressed... i will eat..i will gorge myself...or i will go out with frank to cool myself off...but nowadays frank not free...so i ate.. n i ate..like ther's no full stop to me...

wat can i do??any help?

28th March 2009 @ 11.30am

i realise my blog are always on yesterday's story...hmm..

well this is new...yesterday mum came home... her left leg is in pain...so we went over to look for a physician in BM...(after dinner with aunty)..after that he called...he knows mum's home...i also dunno how..mayb the house is cleaner? or mayb he saw mum's bag... yea he saw mum's bag...askin us to buy something for him to eat...mum said there's no restaurant there n all... well hell yea there's nothing there coz its a housing estate..all u can see are houses... but still when we're on our wa home..mum still buy something 4 him to eat...

then he complain n complain about the situation of our house n all to mum...how i wish to SLAP him...he's like a cry baby to me...im so angry at him..always complain...SIGHSS...!! i had ENOUGH !!!
i really hope tat he could get out of the house... n let us live or own life...

23rd March 2009 @ 8.45pm

everything starts from yesterday morning....

when me n mei r getting ready to go to church.. he was sitting there..awaiting for us to give him $$...then he asks mei to ask me to give him ten bucks... i told mei i've got no $$ already..then i went out to prepare my baby bike to get ready to travel...he told mei tat we're very rude... at tat time mei was listening to music with her earpiece on but she can hear a thing or two...

then when we got home after church...mei told me tat she's very tired of seeing him home everytime...when he's not home she's happy n relax..n i felt the same too...nowadays a lot of things has been happenin...for me n mei...we dun like to get home early..we hope tat we can get home as late as we possibly could...when im at work..i wish tat i can do my job as late as it can b..so tat i dun need to face him nor see him..but for mei she has to face him when he's home...or she'll lock herself inside mum's room n nvr get out unless she has to...

we were saying about him on the way home..mei said...having a father like him..its like not having a father at all..im very proud of my friends.. for they've got wonderful dad who can WORK! although minimal of them are like crippal or like him got hands n feet that can WORK!

as in for now...im putting my first priority place is mei....i have to protect her...since da jie went over to penang island to work n she's nvr home often...my mum.. she's in pdg besar working..n not home oftenly too...i have to protect mei..

then da jie n her bf took us out for a movie n shopping...he saw da jie's bf car passed by in front of him..n we saw him too..then he went home n called da jie saying tat she dare not see him...n asking for $$ from her..da jie said..she'll give him e $$ when she gets home...then we went to watch "race to the witch mountain" hmm can say that its a good movie..really very nice one...then da jie have to buy her office wear..due to she has to go to PWTC for an exibhition...
then he kept calling n calling da jie..da jie dun wan2 pick up..then he called mei...

mei said that he's demanding for $$..saying tat he's goin to work...n wans to buy 4D...mei said to him tat da jie's bf got to buy something we cannot rush him de ma..coz he's the one driving,,,if u rush him dun u feel embarassed? he said tat we're giving all e excuses n all of these r nonsense...OMG my face totali changed when i heard tat...the happy mood tat me n mei r in... r destroyed by him..our faces turn black...n we've got no mood to shop nemore...
mei said she doesn wan to go home tat early..but da jie say she has to..or else he'll keep botherin us...

Y IN THE WORLD TAT I HAVE THIS KIND OF A FATHER??!!!
IM REALLY TIRED!!! I WAN2 GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION!!! ARGH!!!