27th Sept 09 Sunday @ 1905hrs

jus got back from my jogging... its drizzling ald..sunday was good but hot..watching hannah montana's movie rite now..

i was in granny's hse today.. i heard from my cousin tt jie went to penang this week n he saw her...holding hands with sum other guy..while she's hving one awesome bf rite now... i dunno wats jie up to..bt i hope she'll make up her mind abt everything's she's done n wat's she goin to do...
bt when i called up jie to ask her abt this..she denied it..so rite now i dunno who's telling the truth rite now...so i wont belif anybody n i wont stand on everybody's side..

hope she'll make e rite decison for her life....

24th September 2009 Thursday @ 2226hrs

today went quite well @ work.. nothing special..juz tt everything came on smoothly as possible.. :)

Well ..as confirmed by today tt our company is helding another company trip to Hatyai..Again..

Hatyai has nothing to b fond of abt except for shopping of course.. bt the thing is.. i hv to go with aunties.. so its hard to buy somthing fashionable as they want to buy those boxes of instant noodles.. like they really buy everything thr when i was thr e last time..

as so..i haven heard anything frm ge liao.. eg. like e other day he told da jie tt he's coming to penang during sept..bt then i asked him.. n i dunno wat happen..e next morning da jie called me n scolded me..ask me no to say anything else abt his trip to penang n pretend tt i dun knw abt this..

i dunno wat happen bt... oh well im over it..bt then frm wat i heard from mei b4 is tt he's planning to come up during oct.. bt dunno when..the thing is my company trip is on 17th oct (Deepavali) so im reli scared tt he's gonna b up here in penang n spending his time with jie n mei only...so i reali hope tt he tells me when he's coming up or is he coming up o nt..

haven been talking to him lately.. so he doesnt reali knw wats goin on with me.. sometimes looking for him is like reali hard..when i feel like talking to him..its hard.. tts y i told my Favourite Jie on earth.. Alicia.. xD feel reli comfortable on talking to her my current events.. bt most of e time i dun tell to any1 my feelings.. coz im not that kinda girl who tells all my feelings to a person..coz im a girl who smiles n laugh all e time juz to make ppl happy.. bt wats goin on in me..nobody knws..

well yea..sometimes i hurt myself too..physically.. i told alicia jie abt this once.. i need to something to vent my frustration/feelings on..as though i cant yell or shout @ any1..no matter how frustrated i m.. n i cant on9 most of e time to vent it out on a blog.. coz ppl will feel tired..reading the same topic again n again..haha..

oh well.starting from 2mrw..everything wil start to b busy as usual..lets juz hope it wont get worse than it is now..

14th Sept 09 Monday @ 2016 hrs

im tired..

i realli need a break

im angry

for owaz doin somthing wrong...

i dunno wat m i doin to myself..im workin as hard as possible..bt its hard for me to save up a sum of money for my studies...im dissapointed in myself..sometimes i feel like crying..for not doin things right..

work has been stressful these days..for Hari Raya Puasa is coming up..today..some stupid lil thing tt i done..i forgotten to inform my store supervisor to make arrangements n leave some space for other goods..as though thats needs to b loaded up..i got scolded n mock by my aunt..bt e thing is i did inform e driver about wat he's gonna load up..e thing is i dunno y he dint inform my store supervisor..i told her..bt she says tt i hv to inform the s.supervisor rather than e driver...e thing is

my boss dint scold me..instead he made some different arrangements..

i dunno wat is happening to myself these days..i keep losing memory..even wat my aunt instructed me to do i owaz forget..i hv to think hard..bt its hard to let me flashback on stuff..to remember some major stuff i will owaz forget...i dunno how can i improve or wat can i do to myself...

i feel like knocking my head on e wall @ times..n these days..i do get angry easily..im cured of my hyperthyroidism..i dun think tt it effects me anymore..it has juz started..im trying to tolerate..whenever i could..im trying..i juz hope tt my colleagues would understand..n stop pressuring me over small matters..

i remember thr's this time.. i pass the chop n sign d/o to the billing colleague.. i remember taking tt d/o n telling her about this..bt the thing is she lost it..n she ask me to settle it by asking the customer to fax it over..i dint answer her..coz i dun wan to b responsible abt it..y m i owaz in this kind of situation? then during a few weeks b4..she keep asking me for it.. i said im trying..bt i cant promise.. the thing is y m i responsible for it..i did put it @ her place..wif my own eyes i saw it there..

i dunno wat to do..

i wan2 quit this job..bt i cant..coz i need the money to save up for my studies..

wat can i do? do i need to find another part time job?? i realli hope tt i could find one..

09 Sept 2009 @ 2021hrs

it has been two days since he came home..make it 3 as in additional for today...
i haven told mum about this..bt the thing is im kinda worried coz he might b in trouble or he's juz fooling around...so e thing is i have to wait until friday..coz thats the time that mummy comes back from her work place n he'll b good n stay home...so e decision of makin a police report is until friday...

2) there's a job offer in KL as a secretary for me..its a good opportunity for me..can b exposed to everything there..thats a starter...another thing is living in KL..gonna start a new life there...i wanted to go..bt the thing is the salary is way too low for me..its RM 1500..although this basic salary is much higher than wat im getting now..bt the thing is..the accomodation,transport n daily life expenses is way to expensive..mummy disagree with e salary..n ask me not to go..bt everyone is askin me to go for it..its a good exposure n all...sighs..so right now i dunno wat is my decision is...bt for now its a 'No' go..