21st April 2009 @ 1400hrs

hmmm... On sunday night..if im not mistaken..after i had my light dinner... he came in to mum's room whr the 3 of us are at..mum, me, n mei...n criticise me..saying tat i've been keeping n hiding stuffs here n there...n then he talk about the eggs problem...then he talk about the camera problem...i can feel my thyroid is boiling like hot lava tat is goin to blow...



* EGGS PROBLEM..

one day i bought eggs for mei to cook n eat.. i didnt expect that mei went n put the eggs in e room...i was like OMG..when i saw e eggs in e room when i got home...



* Camera

mum bought a new canon IXUS camera..mei brought it to school...then came home accidently let him saw e camera...so he asked mei...whose camera it is? mei said its bean's one...



about the camera thingy...he scolded n told off mei that u're a christian..so dont lie anywhere around...then mum shoot him with " u also a christian...as u said to ur sisters that u wanna b one n being committed to it...so u also lie everywhere" then he slam the door n get out... using mum's car...



before that... when the time i came home...da jie is washing her car..then she moved almost everything tat he had putted in her car out...then he came in to the room..n said..moved everything out la...okok very good...he slam the door n gate n drove mum's car out...at that time.. i really wanted to tell him if u got guts..drive ur own car out than driving mum's car..if u dun like this house then GET THE HELL OUT!!!



later on... da jie said that e 5 of us should sit down n talk... then she said i cannot tell my opinion...then i said y did u say e 5 of us should sit n talk when i cant give my opinion...?? then dun include me if u dun wan me to utter a word... i can get out of e house..let u guys talk...im so furious...



now i really pity my mum..i was thinking...when the time came n when she can say no to him..y didn she say...

13th April 2009 @ 11.15am

yesterday was fun... we attended easter mass on sat so there's no mass on sunday...so the 3 of us together with mum went out to get some 'chinese sushi'..then go home to wait for da jie's boyfriend to come over...then we went out to grandma's house coz da jie need to apply for insurance wit felicia (cousin sis). later then we went out n we went to penang to have fun for the 1st time...so the 5 of us went to PISA couse there's a wedding n camera's exibhition..coz mum wants to buy a new camera...

after looking at so many options we decide to buy the latest canon camera..forgotten wats e model d...then we went out for lunch n shopping!!! i've bought a new pair of sandals...hehe...tot of buyin some high helled shoes but..nothing fits my size..my feet is too big...sighs..hard to find shoes that suits me...

in this week...we''ve got the pawn golds out from e pawn shop...it all cost about RM 700++..its with me..n im not giving it to anyone to keep it but myself..i cant believe that he pawn mum's wedding ring n their engagement rings... OMG... n i asked mum y dun she confront him about pawning the golds including their rings...? she dint utter a word...to me if my husband pawns something without asking my permission or pawns our wedding ring..i will tat our marriage is meaningless...mum heart is soft..she wil easily forgive him for everything...

wat can i do?? i cant do anything if she doesnt utter a word or doesnt take any actions...i know mum feels helpless..but wat can i do? i feel so useless...i cant do anything to help mum..

04th April 2009 @ 5pm

hmm...how to start...im getting fatter n fatter by the day..sighs...i dunno wat is goin on...im still eating regular meals...not too much..now have to go on a diet plan...maybe its the side effect of the medicine im taking...still my thyroid hasn gone down...im a lil worried about it...

now my weight problem...i hv to control wat im eating already...hv to go for regular exercise...to cut down on my weight..swimming perhaps..im looking for a gym tat provides the best facilities and coach too...hehehe..

Just last sunday...i remembered...mum heard that he doesn hav a HP to use..so mum took her personal phone tat he bought n gave it to him...let him use..n mum will b using her company's Hp..but he refuses...he scolded mum..n said " i dare to throw the Hp away..u guys look down on me n all" then he put the phone at the living room table...
i dont wanna bother too much anymore...b4 tat i was taking an afternoon nap..n was awaken by the sound of arguements between mum n dad...i was thinking.. when will all these end?

mum said tat the 5 of us should sit down n talk...then she said later tat night that v've got to wait for aunt millie to come up n then we'll talk...i was thinking when is aunt millie coming up? if she doesnt comes up..when will this talk start? nvr?

whenever im depressed... i will eat..i will gorge myself...or i will go out with frank to cool myself off...but nowadays frank not free...so i ate.. n i ate..like ther's no full stop to me...

wat can i do??any help?